This is one of those blog posts I thought I’d never make. For a guy with as much ambition as me I am starting to wonder what projects are worth bothering with based on growth potential and time expenditures. I have to come to some universal truths here that doing the same shit over and over expecting a better result is the definition of insanity.
FalcoPunch64 is now on hiatus. I just don’t see how I can continue, 14 years into this journey, streaming to 2-3 people tops on twitch or YouTube on any given night. It’s just not going to work. I’m not saying I’ll never do it again but right now… it’s the wrong option. I can tell it’s the wrong option because it’s not bringing me excitement, joy, fulfillment, or an audience.
To be honest most of the old camps that had audiences bigger than mine have cooled down significantly. How often do we hear about a new Ethan Ralph incident? Once a month? It used to be every single day.
Kino Casino is on life support because Kiwifarms can’t stay up for more than 5 minutes. All the shows are floundering because we need to come to one massive truth and that is even if you think KiwiFarms is evil they were the lifeblood of drama streamers, internet documentary makers, Chris Chan a-logs, and pretty much most “dark” internet culture.
I can’t do a psycho circus episode or stream without them. So when they died, or whatever you call that existence now of being up for an hour a day before being immediately nuked again by some provider in Europe, the entire industry it supported died too. As it probably should have. It was getting out of hand. Doxing was becoming a lot more accepted by the participants. Ralph got attacked in Portugal by Cog and his friend. That’s what made me put a hard clock on my show’s lifespan.
Soon as that happened, and we went from GamerGate where doxing and swatting would outlaw your ass to now people are like “but it’s Ralph who cares if he gets doxed or assaulted by someone who flew from one country to another for the express purpose of assaulting him…” i was like nah fuck that. I’m done. Not letting my family become the next laugh factory or have someone get assaulted because I pissed ’em off online. Or have someone sued me (which ended up coming to pass where a certain dickhead I can’t talk about threatened a lawsuit 3 months after I left YouTube).
It was time to move on. It really was. It was never going to get better or recover or grow. The iceberg hit the titanic that was my show and it started to rapidly sink until the incident with my sister being harassed and I quit. So now I sit here just kind of lost.
I stopped talking to all my friends from that old community which I still stand by and say is the best decision I made. Better to be alone than in bad company as they say. All they were doing was dragging me down, through the mud, and into shit I would’ve never been involved with, without their misdirection or backstage shit.
So maybe it’s time for FalcoPunch64 to die. Maybe it’s time for it to just go away. The gaming channel gets 5 views per 48 hours. The commentary channel barely moves the needle either. The Twitch shows bring out 2-3 people tops. My schedule is so cluttered and erratic I can’t be dependable on live events anyway.
Now I’m testing the waters with something else. Just drop all that stuff and do something else. Terror Trax is getting ads on Facebook now to see if there’s any interest in that concept. Just testing the waters for that show’s return.
I’m thinking about writing books again now that my hands have been doing a bit better. Not sure how that’s going to work. But right now I’m in a state of flux where I honestly can’t tell you where I’m headed and that’s fine. Sometimes you need to just drift and let it be for a while. I haven’t done that in years or even decades. Maybe this is the time to just let it be.